It was wonderful to meet you, too!

The beauty of particle physics, for one. A surfer/physicist discussed the possible findings at CERN this year when their accelerator is completed and turned on, including the theorized Higgs boson, and the kinds of beautiful geometric patterns that emerge when the different particles are graphed (and also when gaps that interrupt the current symmetry are filled in). I won't be able to explain it well-- but here you go!

That was one. Other talks were about accelerated skill aquisition (from rescipisco and his pal Rand Fitzpatrick) that uses techniques and doesn't require a superior intelligence.

radiantsun and a fellow named Jonathan gave a talk called "social bonding" which enumerated the most effective ways we connect with people-- curiosity and sincerity among them.

pjammer, a self-professed "natural depressive", gave a talk called Learned Optimism, which wasn't as Tony Robbins as it sounds. It was actually really inspiring to me (I tend to be a blend of the two, but what if I really shrug off pessimism? But then, also shrug off the expectations that get let down when something doesn't go the way I hoped?)

I went for a walk with Todd Huffman, one of the main organizers, who talked about "Hacking the Human Fantastic", discussing how we can use historical methods of creating whole civilizations to make microcosms and movements-- an exploration on "wisdom of crowds" concepts, oh, and also about the magnets implanted under his fingertips and how they enhanced his sense of touch and field perception.

What else, what else... ah, a researcher named Aubrey De Grey, a TED alumnus who gave a wacky speech on avoiding aging 3 years ago which you can watch here, gave a talk for BIL called "How to Be a Successful Heretic", which is quite applicable to the way his ideas are starting to gain mainstream acceptance.

Brad Templeton, the Chairman of the Board for the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF), spoke about robot cars of the future. :)

Then there was a spirited talk about Open Source Physical Security, which basically decentralizes the idea that the government must set up barriers on our behalf, and how we can consider other ways to balance issues of privacy and transparency and personal (and societal) security.

A really wonderful talk, led without any visual aids but riveting just the same, talked about the unique challenges (mostly social, some educational) in raising "gifted" children and the problem with treating them as if they are "intellectually 20" when they're still, for all intents and purposes, 12.

And on and on and on. There were many talks I missed, too, as there was a flurry of activity in the various rooms and common areas, including people I hadn't seen in ages that I wanted to catch up with. It was extremely social and wickedly cool, very much the kind of environment I thrive in and would love more of in my life. :)

Some blogs and the site itself might start archiving all the talks and better abstracts than that which I've written above. But guess what-- the next BIL will be in Southern California!

Have you been to a conference before, ever? This was my very first.

Various people who were there did say they became overwhelmed at points. It was indeed really intense. MOST of the people who attended were intense in voice, appearance, and force of thought, so you felt it palpably as you maneuvered about the place.

Not everyone who went "conversed with lots of people". Some came to listen, to help, and absorb. The large groups of interaction easily broke up into manageable pockets and we'd go for walks in the graveyard for peace (during the day, natch).

I mean, I've never even taken a CLASS on physics, so here I was attending a talk on a subject I'd be a "complete moron" about. I didn't even know what question I could ask that wouldn't be a "stupid question", but I let all that go, because physics is all around, it's life, and it builds everything we see, and its laws govern the limits that we're only aware of as humans right now.

I also was able to engage folks completely unlike me. For one, I was getting some soda and a fellow across the table from me has a nametag on, with his name and the word "Leapfrog", which I recognized from commercials about educational toys for kids. (Yes, I'm childfree, but I love my nieces and nephews). I asked him if he worked there, and we talked about it. One thing led to another and I learned that he was taking a year off from work JUST to read all his physics, math, and artificial intelligence books, and he had some with him that he showed me. I'm HORRIBLE at math, but I had plenty of things to ask him and he didn't treat me like a moron at all. He was very sweet and he was challenging himself to stay current on his passions in exile.

There was a lot of humanity in this otherwise cerebral gathering. I found little bits anytime I looked. I loved it!

I didn't get up to speak. I had nothing prepared, and many slots were already full by the time I would have worked up the nerve. I asked a lot of questions, I listened. I helped. I picked up when someone was confused but not sure who to ask their question to, and I would go do it for them if they looked stuck. I would alert someone that a talk they were interested in was about to start. I borrowed a knife and cut up apples and smeared peanut butter on them.

I get anxious too if I can't say anything clever back, but I've practiced overcoming it. Sometimes it helps to say "You mentioned $SCARYGEEKTERM earlier; what did you mean by that?" or to try to get back into the humanity of their subject-- "You sure seem passionate about $HIGHBROWTOPIC. How did you develop these theories? When did this interest begin for you?" It helps that I'm kind of an origins-geek. I like getting meaning, and hearing the story of that initial spark.

do you like having questions asked of you?

Yes!

I sometimes get into disproportionate modes in which I'm doing all the asking, they're doing all the answering, and they're not curious about me at all. (Then again, I'm told by some that they're just as curious, but they learn by observation and not explicit extraction of inner words the way I do).

I no longer expect people to be curious about me so much, thanks to years of wrangling my ego down to healthier levels (though I'm not 100% humble/unassuming, but I still shoot for lofty ideals). I have at least enough ego left to really, really delight in getting attention and curiosity thrown my way. At a certain level, also, I can get a little bashful, but I don't run away... I just duck down a little and try to divert.

I'm also not a very private person so I'll answer most sincere questions, and I also find that tough questions give me a chance to explore my own motivations and ethics--aloud, vulnerably--to the one asking.

I never, ever would have guessed you had an ounce of insecurity. That sort of thing manifests in odd ways-- either acute shyness or unbridled arrogance-- but this is a new form. I figured you just liked playing with non-sequitors for jollies. But no, a defense mechanism, it turns out!

One that's probably helped win you appreciative friends.

I say, why not drop the fear? If you don't have the most appealing answer all the time, so what? Do you really think people *expect* that? They don't, unless they're fucked up in some way.

And why not welcome the verbal beating? Instead of cowering in fear of being the less-smart, why not filter out the blows and learn? Maybe learn how to spot a logical fallacy-- an ad hominem, a straw man. There, you can use those awesome powers of observation, and absorb a new move, internalize it. You can learn two-fold-- verbal jujitsu and how to take apart and analyze someone's assertions.

It's FUN. Being less intimidated takes practice but it's HELLA FUN.

(I'm actually quite surprised you didn't pick up on this before!) -- You're evidently that good at hiding it? :)

If I wanted any of me to survive, then I had to hide it well, and throw illusion after illusion out there to be completely decimated. -- I'm sorry you went through it. But you can move beyond it. You're in the present, and all around you, people are recognizing your worth. Listen to them, let them crowd out the abusive voices and messages of the past. It's a process, in NO WAY is it easy, but you must believe that it is POSSIBLE.

I'm just not a masochist, I suppose. -- I should reword it differently. I don't mean enjoy the pain. I mean USE the pain, and perhaps see past it and reframe it. I have grown via painful experiences because I stepped back and asked "what can I learn from this?" You can always learn something, even if someone is verbally vivisecting you. Tone down their attempts to browbeat you and split your mind into an observer mode, rather than a victim. Are you giving in to them? Ask yourself if they deserve this. Are they doing this to you because they themselves are insecure, and it manifests themselves by being an asshole? You might surprise yourself, even feel compassion. If you can feel compassion in the face of someone calling you an idiot, someone who is in NO POSITION to judge (all they really are is loud), then you are more than capable for feeling compassion for yourself, and allow yourself to rise above the barbarism of power exchanges people engage in in the name of utterly false, ephermeral superiority.

Even if you choose not to throw back logical errors, you can still learn to spot them (all I really said, anyway) and let them roll off your back when people think they've got the upper hand.

I don't at ALL condone belligerence, but strength of conviction and accountability AND, yep, vulnerability and trust. They all beget each other and multiply memetically, in practice.

Really!

how do you deal with compliments? -- You say that like it's a bad thing. Deal with? :)

It depends on the context. A compliment is an expression of praise. I internalize it as "something I did, or am, made the other person happy, comfortable, proud, or admiring. Sweet! I'll endeavor to do this more, or be this thing continually."

Sometimes I get a compliment from one person, and criticism from another, on the same thing. I used to post songs I recorded. Some folks liked it exactly as it was. Others had a suggestion to make it even better next time, believing they heard more *potential* than a finished, remarkable product. For others, it didn't meet with their tastes, and I can't blame them for that. I'm not going to *appeal* to everyone, just as not everything that appeals to some will appeal to me. To some, I'm a gorgeous goddess; in the mind of others I'm a bloated sack of protoplasm, and neither of those opinions change the objective reality of who I am. I like aligning with the more positive side, however, and it's still good and productive to reduce the bloat, for my own reasons. (Those who hate me will find some other reason. Poor them! They can have at it, and they won't stop me.)

So here's the approach that works for me.

Compliments are nice (provided they're sincere). They validate some part of me or a thing I've produced; they encourage me to keep going and that I'm meeting with some success.
Criticism is also nice because I already know that there is always room for improvement, and that someone can evaluate my words/action/deed/behavior and posit a refinement I may not have already considered. That can be helpful and constructive.
Insults are basically rude behavior. Sometimes people are rude when they're otherwise being complimentary ("hey, baby, nice tits!") and almost always rude when being insulting ("hey fatass, put down the sandwich and go to church and have children and kill your fucking cats while you're at it!"). Othertimes they can be cleverly insulting (like when William Faulkner said of Ernest Hemingway, "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." Imagine if Hemingway took that to heart and never wrote a word again? Oh wait-- he did shoot himself in the head, but he's more or less immortal in textbooks now.) What I can do with insults?

Water off a duck's back. They don't matter. They're attempts to drain me of my worth, but they don't have any effect that I don't allow. But I can allow the effect of a good compliment and a good critique.

We have *choices* in how we think and react.

first few critical milliseconds?

By habit plus the fact that compliments never get old, I say some variant of "Oh wow, thanks!"

And then I move on, sometimes. Other times, it's "Thanks much! Can you offer any specifics?" (If they can't, that's okay, and I reassure them so.)

By the way, I love your absurdities and wit and I miss feeding with you!

I do like the fact that I can come up with absurdities - sometimes it worries me, though, if I feel like it's the *only* thing I can do.

It isn't. You didn't get into MIT that way, if I can hazard a guess. There's a powerful brain that can wield rapier wit, and if it can do that, it can do so much more that's untapped. If I knew you better, I could probably dig around (with permission) and uncover them like so many diamonds in the rough.

I MUST go to freaking So Cal! It's a moral imperative. I'll resolve to do it quickly!

For example, if you were to reply to this comment with "okay, you're an idiot", I'd be a lot more upset than if you said the same thing to a comment that blathered on for no reason about ostrich people from space.

But you have choices.

You can react in different ways.

Here's three scenarios, all following you saying something meaningful (to you) to a person:

1) Person says "You're an idiot."
2) You say (to yourself), "I'm an idiot, because they said so."

1) Person says "You're an idiot."
2) You say, outloud, "FUCK YOU! No, I'm not." And you get emotional, because they broke the gift you gave them; your earned trust.

1) Person says, "You're an idiot."
2) You think, "OK, this person's being toxic and has nothing to contribute to me right now. I've learned not to associate with this person. If they start acting better, perhaps we can talk again. I'll go find someone worthy of my trust."
3) And you walk away.

I used to do the first scenario all the time. I dabbled with the second and didn't really get anywhere. But then I dabbled in the third. Toxicity and negativity was something I needed to reframe like water off a duck's back. No one gets to decide I'm an idiot. No one gets to arbitrarily pick out violent words that penetrate my sense of self, because they're NOT in charge of my sense of self (something this extrovert had to learn!).

But even if I close the door on toxic attempts of others to gain superiority on me, I can keep it open to allow the encouraging, positive models of friends and family, and I can practicing giving acceptance and forgiveness to others too. And, the more i'm accountable when I screw up and do something inconsiderate, erroneous, or assumptive, the the less I screw up and the better skilled I become.

And then you get better at fearless immersion, and you start seeing opportunities instead of finding a way to seal off every potential (but often insignificant) evil of the world.

Words are only words. The words of others don't define you. You can accept, you can filter out, you can push back, you can redirect, you can blaze a trail. You can do it with words, the convictions to back them up, and the actions that reverberate across anyone within range. And you can do this with compassion, with mercy, with ambition, with ethics, with support, with autonomy, and without a hardened exterior that dams the flow of fortune.

Am I getting somewhere with you yet? :)

But why do you have to win with a retort? Walking away, intact, is a HUGE win, and takes no cleverness at all!

You can GAIN in other ways. If someone says you're an idiot, and your resolve stood immobile and defiant, it's a good kind of neutral, because they failed to knock you down a peg. You tried to take power and you refused to yield.

You can gain the next time you get a compliment. If you refute the compliment, you sure as HECK gained nothing. If you accept it and let it fuel you forward, you've gotten a boost, a gain, and it helps you walk away from the insulting types because you have beautiful people to WALK TOWARDS.

In the long run, that's what you do. At the end of your life, whenever that is, in youth or old age, you don't want to be alone, and you don't want to be around people who hate you for whatever sorry reasons they do.

You want to be around love and respect. Just keep walking toward them, and with them. THAT is a gain, my friend.

What's this idea of being a "better human being?" Better than *whom*? Is someone keeping a roster of each person's rank relative to each other? What characteristics make you better or worse than others? Even if you prove your decency to select others, what about those niggling few who don't think much of you? Will you not rest until they've shrugged off their wrong assumptions and conceded that you in fact rock?

Is proving you decency and humanity to others really the answer, the one thing left you have to do to be satisfied with your life and the way you live?

I say, find what fulfills *you* that has nothing to do with the approval of others, and do that, demonstrate *that*, and feel good with the end result beyond just external approval. Maybe it's something that helps others. Maybe it only helps yourself. Either way is okay as long as the movement is forward. And if it's backward, recognize it and turn the car around.

You don't have to spend every waking moment on the path of some accomplishment that will get you recognized. Sometimes an accomplishment is picking up a piece of trash on the side of the road, and other times it nets you a prize. There are so many degrees.

Even the ability to appreciate odd roadsigns and photograph them into works of beauty is an accomplishment. You made art out of things most of us overlook. There's beauty there. And sometimes people might just silently keep their compliments to themselves without expressing it (a lot of people have fear about *giving* compliments, not just receiving them, they feel shallow praising someone's work).

The worth is in the works, the things you do. Who you are is simply you. Whether you are wonderful or a moron is entirely your call.

And your desire to treat others decently is an irrefutably good path. Stay on it! And see what else you can do if you've the bandwidth. :)

Uh oh, we seem to have run into some potentially contradictory territory here... on one hand, you're telling me "do what makes you happy, and don't worry about what other people think of you" (sound enough advice) - but somewhere else in this thread, you noted that no one wants to be alone.

No contradiction there.

We're social creatures, and affection and company is a basic need.

What I mean by "don't worry what others thinks" is that if what you're doing makes you happy and harms none, it doesn't really matter if some random person out there thinks it's silly, stupid, foolish, half-baked, unattractive, whatever. Pay attention most of all to the experience you get. Yeah, what you will do will have an effect, and everyone else will decide how they are effected. Some will like what you do and gravitate to you. Others won't be so moved, and still others will be repulsed. This has more to do with THEM than with you.

I can't think of another person who'd have fun staying up 61 hours straight to photograph the highway signs of Wyoming in wind chills of 30 below 0.

Is anyone else (besides me, reading this) aware that you would like company? Have you put up ads on every Craigslist in every metropolitan area saying "Looking for sign enthusiasts who love driving?"

Or maybe you'll run into them accidentally. Or someone else will, and point you to them. I once answered the OKCupid ad of a guy that, as I later learned, ran http://www.swanksigns.org/ . I bet you and he have stuff in common that you can talk about.

Also, there might be people out there who don't yet know that they would love staying up for 61 hours straight photographing signs, because no one's invited them along, or it simply hadn't occurred to them. And others might want to join you, but don't feel as brave as you do to undertake it.

There is nothing new under the sun-- you are not alone in your passion. You just think you are.

people (in my perception anyway) seem to think less of me for doing it

First, acknowledge that you may be right-- perhaps at least one person out there thinks your hobby is silly and doesn't accomplish anything.
Then acknowledge that you may be wrong-- the rejection of your art may not be as widespread and universal as you've disproportionately blown up in your head.
Then, acknowledge those who appreciate and even envy the lifestyle you've created that allows you to chase down signs.
Then, look at yourself. Are you doing something that keeps people from sharing their heartfelt appreciation with you? If you're spending a lot of energy deflecting compliments and not taking them with grace, are you teaching people to not compliment you?
What happens when you're not traveling? Are you reaching out to others? Are you taking an interest in their lives? How often do you, yourself, tell people "hey, that's really cool!" when they share something they take personal pride in? Could you do it a little more often, perhaps to see if it starts coming back to you more often, and then you get more accustomed to being praised and in validating the efforts of others?

"Scary" is a word loaded with different meaning. A person who eats kittens is scary because they're sociopaths. A beautiful, charming woman is scary because we mere mortals think she eats US for breakfast because we are so sure wouldn't waste her time talking to a worm like us. A boogieman is scary because we made him scary in our heads, just like we did the beautiful woman. It's the same end result-- the rest of us are scared to approach or cross paths with the scary thing, even if the thing is totally imaginary, or in objective truth, not so scary at all.

"Scary" is a common assessment, because every single one of us is scared of something, even if it's just a construct.

But we don't have to be. There's a lot more we can face than we realize.

Thank you for thanking me, otherwise known as "you're most welcome!"

I enjoyed seeing you be you! You light fireworks, quiet ones all around.

I see why you've made it out to conferences so much. This was my very first, and I think I'm going to start collecting them. :)

I just wish the sessions were more like 2 hours than 45 min.

Why, though? I mean, the ones at BIL were actually way too short (15 minutes, most folks had prepared for longer). No one spoke for 45 minutes that I can recall. There were a lot of people to squeeze in.

I'm curious about the BarCamp thing... time for research!